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Psyche
& Spirit
- Vol. 10, No. 4
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In this issue:
1.
Loss as Discovery
2.
Go Ahead, Move
3. "Quotagious"
Thoughts . . .
4.
Forgive Us
5.
Gritting Your Teeth
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1.
Loss as Discovery
=====================
"I've just lost everything", the man exclaimed
after watching in vain as his retirement home in the woods burned to the ground
along with all of the earthly possessions he had amassed from his years of hard
work, adventure and acquisition. "It is the most amazing thing," he went on,
"to lose all of your earthly possessions and realize that you still have your
life. I'm eager to see what I will do now."
One of the major themes of our day is loss and
material insecurity. Many congregation members have lost their jobs. Businesses
have closed. Many face job insecurity. Most of us have lost investment value.
The suffering and anxiety are real and it is important that we respect that. It
should also be appreciated that the losses would be even more devastating
without the safety net of unemployment benefits.
It is also true that the lessons learned by
walking with Jesus apply profoundly to loss and material anxiety. Some
congregations now are performing the miracle of the loaves and fishes, that in
situations of real need, surplus emerges from scarcity. Some Christian
employers are realizing that their moral obligation in this situation is, like
the vineyard owner, to support as many families as possible at the expense of
their own bottom line.
While "you don't know what you've got till it's
gone" is a common realization from loss, loss can also open up new
possibilities. In John 16: 7;13, Jesus told his disciples that his absence
would bring them greater insight. They would rely more on the Spirit and less
on him, and they would grow immeasurably in the process.
Many suffering a loss of income are finding
what they can do without as they cut back on expenses. Some are rediscovering
who they are outside their work roles, treating the time as a kind of
sabbatical. The single income family life style is showing its benefits to
many. Supersized houses with gigantic monthly payments begin to look and feel
gross without the blinders of elitist wealth.
Sometimes when we feel we have suffered a great
loss, there may be new discoveries that open up to us. While some are hoping
that economic recovery will return our society to its previous state of a few
years ago, others are now having different visions more in line with the values
of the Kingdom. This is a great time for those values to be affirmed.
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2.
Go Ahead, Move
==================
Neuroscientist Kelly Lambert, PhD reports that
a group of her students attended an international conference in Rio de Janeiro
and stopped on the street to watch a musical group. They were surprised that
onlookers pegged them as Americans.
"How could you tell?" they asked.
"Because you're not dancing."
Moving with music is a way of participating
with it, as is clapping along. The word "emotion" comes from a Latin root
movere
which means "to move". Emotions move
us. When we refuse to move, we experience less of what the music is, of what
the emotion is. There is now evidence that movement can help people
successfully process traumatic memories. Research is also showing that some
children learn better when they are moving or walking. Is it self consciousness
that inhibits our movement? If so, we might be more willing to move to music
when we know we are not being observed. Or are we afraid of the emotions we
would feel and amplify through movement?
Jesus said he needed to leave physically in
order for the Holy Spirit to come to his followers. "The spirit", we say, "moves
us." It is like the wind. But some of us are engaged in life-long experiments
in relating to life energy and to God without movement or emotion. With
Pentecost up ahead, it might be time to start stretching to get ready. Go
ahead, move.
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3. "Quotagious"
Thoughts . . .
===============================
"And
so I now see the soul as that wild creature way back there in the woods that
knows how to survive in very hard places, knows how to survive in places where
the intellect doesn't, where the feelings don't, and where the will cannot.”
-Parker Palmer
"What I realized in the wake of
depression is that who I am is fully mysterious to me."
-Andrew Solomon
"Who would say the heart of a tiny blade
of grass could repay the sun for all the warmth of spring?"
-Meng Chiao
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4.
Forgive Us
==============
When we have violated others and been violated
in specific ways, we are called to repair the damage so we as a people can best
function together in love. The body of Christ depends on good relationships
among us. Forgiveness is the action that repairs the inevitable damage that
occurs as we jostle each other. It turns out that the prayer Jesus taught can
be a powerful aid in that process.
But I have a question. When you pray, "forgive
us our trespasses" who are you praying for? I'm embarrassed to admit that until
a recent Lenten meditation on this phrase, I was praying for myself and I
imagined you were praying for yourselves; we were just doing it together. My
recent informal survey shows that I am in good company in that respect.
It now occurs to me that perhaps Jesus meant
that "Forgive us" should mean that I'm praying for God to forgive you
simultaneously as I pray for God to forgive me. If I feel you have violated me
in some respect, I am praying for God to forgive you before the prayer even
mentions me forgiving you. Pretty clever. Then "as all of us forgive each
other" comes a little easier.
=====================
5.
Gritting Your Teeth
=====================
The word among dentists nationwide is that they
are noticing
more teeth grinding among their patients since the economic downturn began.
I have noticed the same in my counseling practice.
Dentists have devices patients can use at night
to help prevent damage to teeth from clenching and grinding teeth.
Psychologically, it is helpful to identify and work through the source of the
tension, which can also produce headaches and tightness in the neck, shoulders
and facial muscles. One way to do so it to accentuate the tension while
inviting awareness of its source. This is a contemplative exercise that takes
patience. One must not be too eager to have the answer come or the mind will
grasp at straws or concoct theories. The test of an insight or idea is the
sense of fit, the "ah, that's it" that is released. It may not be an "ah ha!"
eureka moment, but there will be some release as the deeper part of you
recognizes the truth of it. Then you can face whatever it is and the tension
should subside.
In general, it is my experience that we do best
by listening to our symptoms so they can tell us what they are a response to as
well as trying to reduce the damage that they can cause.
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