P&S Sample 2

Psyche & Spirit
           self-care for clergy & the psychological aspects of ministry
                               brief articles for busy clergy
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Dear Clergy and Church Professionals:

Welcome to our online publication for church professionals. Our goal is to bring you brief articles and information that can help with self-care, stress and the psychological aspects of ministry.

To change your email address for this publication, please use the List Builder link at the bottom of this email. Colleagues who wish to subscribe should be directed to http://www.psycheandspirit.com.

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In this issue:

1. Preparing the Way

2. Statio

3. "Quotagious" Thoughts . . .

4. Action: The Fourth Stage of Change

5. Am I My Condition?
6. Miscellany: Clergy in Shopping Malls

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1. Preparing the Way

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Prepare the way of the Lord, make straight in the desert a highway for our God. We must prepare ourselves to make an easy way for the Lord to enter our lives. We are challenged be ready to respond to whatever God calls us to do. We must have our lamps lit, let our lights shine, and say no to those who want to take our oil, so the Lord will know who we are. So what type of preparation is this? Is it any different than self care that does not have a spiritual motive? While being physically fit, for example, makes us better able to serve the Lord, it is any different than the person working out in front of a mirror with ego motives? This is the question of secular vs. spiritually motivated self-care. They will be different because they have very different motives.

Just look at what the people in Jesus' time had to be prepared for to recognize and welcome him. There sense of reality had to include the divine, or he was just another baby that people adored. As an idea, we may be able to handle that God became embodied in a child, but when it comes to sticking our necks out in a culture of disbelief, it is a different matter. We look ridiculous in the eyes of secular culture. The shepherds had to be able to see angels and not be so overcome by fear that they could not respond. We too easily shut down extraordinary experience because it is spooky and weird. As I quoted last issue, "Only those who see the invisible can do the impossible." We need to be very secure to entertain angels. We certainly can’t be limited by a materialistic sense of reality.

And what in our lives is threatened by the message of Jesus? Herod believed the prophecy and saw Jesus as a threat. And indeed he was. And Jesus and his ministry of bringing good news to the poor and oppressed threatens part of us too, when we are honest about it. So what is our capacity for joy when following Christ tips our lives upside down, puts us at odds with dominant culture and disrupts our families?

These questions are something other than the stuff of making New Years resolutions. This isn't just self improvement. This is preparing the way of the Lord, and stopping to recognize what we need to do and taking the time and attention to do it. (AM)

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2. Statio

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In business, there has developed the ideal of "seamless transitions," that it is good to set things up so people move from one system to the next without even noticing. There is no gap or seam between them. While appealing in some respects (it gives the illusion that nothing is changing) it does not serve us well as a model for how to live. It denies that change is taking place. This is how unresolved grieving occurs, for instance. You just keep going as if nothing is different. But Jesus' birth did not have a seamless transition. Nor did the start of his ministry. Nor did his death when the temple curtains were torn. God’s transitions are not seamless. Far from it.

The Benedictines teach and practice statio, which is also the opposite of seamless transitions. Statio is the pratice of pausing between events. My car now reminds me to take statio. It is a hybrid, so at the stop light, it turns off instead of idling. Nothing needs to be done, so it shuts off, to be reawakened when I push on the accelerator. And so I make a point to stop thinking, to pause, focus on God and the traffic light that will tell me when I need to proceed.

As a practice integrated into our lives, statio helps us take sacred time. It allows us to fully appreciate what came before, stop to rest, focus on God, and then make an intentional entry into the next activity– the pregnant pause between movements of the symphony.

Statio helps us live more intentionally. Each thing we do deserves its own identity instead of being morphed together. Statio also happens to be less stressful for us. (AM)

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3. "Quotagious" Thoughts . . .

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"Called or not called, God shall be there."
-Carl Jung

"If you can't find Christ in the person next to you, you can't find him anywhere."

-Gandhi

"I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific."
-Lily Tomlin

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4. Action: The Fourth Stage of Change

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Now that we have reviewed in previous articles the stages of precontemplation, contemplation, and preparation, let us turn toward the stage of action when a person is engaged in the process of modifying behavior and taking steps for explicit change (Prochaska et. al. Changing for Good). This is a focused and energetic time.

First, beware of the pitfalls of this stage. Taking preparation lightly usually results in change that only lasts a day or two so be sure you have spent enough time completing the preparation stage. Expecting cheap change without making any sacrifices won’t get you there. Real change requires real work. There is no magic bullet. Complex problems require complex solutions. And if what you're doing is only partially successful, doing more of the same will only get you more of the same unacceptable result. Time to try a new strategy.

What techniques are helpful during the action stage? Countering, whereby healthy responses are substituted for problem behaviors, is one of the most powerful. The best options for countering are: active diversion with something incompatible with the problem behavior, using the impulse as a cue to exercise rather than do the behavior, relaxation, and counterthinking to change negative or irrational thoughts. Environmental control is a second important strategy which involves decreasing the occurrence of the problematic stimulus itself. Avoidance of the stimuli helps you to not have to rely as much on willpower in your response to it. However, avoidance is not a lasting solution. Next try gradually exposing yourself to the cues and practice your new responses. Plan your responses and visualize your ability to carry them out to help you be more successful. Use visual reminders to help you stay focused on the behavior changes you are making, including adding your new positive behaviors to your to-do lists. Giving yourself rewards reinforces the positive change. You might want to try writing out a contract with yourself with the rewards you will give yourself as you change. Finally, engaging helping relationships is also helpful during the action stage. Seek support and ask for positive reinforcement from your family, friends, therapist, or coach when they see you making the changes you have set your sights on. Use these techniques to help maximize your success and enjoy the benefits of the changes you are making. (MW)

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5. Am I My Condition?

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A trucker who stopped at a diner every couple of weeks sat down at the counter. The waitress came over, recognized him and said, "Oh, you're the corned beef." A nutritional therapist told me she was at a conference recently where the focus was the war against fat. Fat is the enemy, and the patient is often an adversary as the professional wages the war against fat. In contrast, she said, "I'm just trying to care about people, and in doing so, they are successful in losing weight."

From the medical model of "treatment," we can easily be seen as our condition and we either cooperate or resist as the professional attacks our problem, presumably on our behalf, though often it is for their own professional benefit. Lectures and workshops about "treating the whole person" may just broaden the scope of "treatment" with diagnostics and treatment codes to include psychological, social and spiritual matters. Treating isn't the same as caring.

As you visit with parishioners in hospitals or meet with those receiving outpatient medical treatment, it may be up to you to reinforce for people that they are far more important than their condition, and the condition does not identify who they are. (AM)

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6. Miscellany: Clergy in Shopping Malls

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When the people don't come to you, go to the people. The government in Thailand is concerned by people drifting away from religion. So they are renting space in shopping malls for people to drop in and meet with clergy. http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200511/s1517501.htm

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Psyche & Spirit is written and published by Arden Mahlberg, PhD (AM) and Meredith T Whelan, LCSW (MW). Please help us shape this newsletter to best meet your needs and interests. Email ideas and reactions to: admin@PsycheAndSpirit.com.

PLEASE NOTE: You are receiving this publication because of your position as a church professional and because you have subscribed. We do not intend to take advantage of your email address, intrude upon your privacy, or provide your email address to anyone.

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