The Secrets of Successful Self-Change
Meredith Whelan
December 14, 2004

Have you ever said you were going to start exercising and not follow-through? Quit smoking or drinking? Lose weight? Start saving money? You're not alone. Research now shows us how successful change occurs and outlines the most effective processes of change. You may be familiar with many of them such as consciousness-raising, rewards, and enlisting helping relationships.  What we didn't fully appreciate is that only certain tools or processes for change are useful depending on what stage of change a person is in. (See Changing for Good by Prochaska, Norcross, and Diclemente).

There are six stages of change: pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance, and termination. Each stage has its own tasks. One of the least helpful things a helpmate can do is pressure someone into action when they are not in the action stage. Action undertaken when a person is in a stage of pre-contemplation or contemplation usually fails and then adds to a person's discouragement and even despair regarding their ability to change. For example, pre-contemplators are in denial that there is a problem. Only the people around them see that there is a problem. The goal for a pre-contemplator is to help them become a contemplator, not begin a major action plan. So, when a congregation member asks you to speak to their spouse about their problem drinking and you know the drinker is still in the stage of pre-contemplation, good approaches are "Let's talk about your drinking, I'm concerned it is becoming a problem" or "How can I help you with your drinking?" Consciousness-raising is helpful for pre-contemplators. Look for up-coming articles on how to identify what stage of change you are in on a given issue and what will help you to be successful with self-change.

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